I’m Sick & Tired…

I’m Sick & Tired…

Relief

Woe to you when ALL men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets. ~Luke 6:26

My first reaction to this verse is "phew, that is a relief" I know I am not alone when I say that I have people who just don't like me. I have no idea what I did to offend them or cause such animosity but it is obviously there. This sometimes causes me grief. This passage is a reminder that I don't need to spend all my time worrying about who likes me or hoping I don't offend anyone. As long as I continue to check myself against scripture and come out alright then if someone doesn't like me then I must be doing something right! I can rejoice in the hatred and persecution because that only means I am living my life according to what God wants for me not according to what others want.

Prideful Insight

In his pride the wicked does not seek Him; in all his thoughts there is NO ROOM for God. ~Psalm 10:4 (emphasis mine)

This was my verse to contemplate and meditate on today.

I never thought I was a prideful person. My mother, she is prideful, she would rather saw off her own leg than ask someone who may have offended her once for help. That was pride not anything I do.

God, however, has a different view on pride. In this verse He tells us that when we go about our daily lives as though we don't need God we are telling Him "I got this." Thankfully, God being the loving father He is says "alright, I'll just be here waiting to catch you" because He knows we don't got this.

We were not made to make it thorough our lives without the Lord. When we go about our days without taking the time to consult our heavenly father we are those wicked whose pride gets in the way.

Refocus!

Well, here we are again another Christmas full of selfishness and what about me's! When did Christmas become more about what you get and less about what you give?! When did we lose sight of Christ and the reason we celebrate this holiday?!

I mentioned to Jake's mom that I wanted to bake for my friends and so she dropped off a check so that I could. She did this with a selfless heart and I accepted it with gratitude. I anxiously made my way to the store and bought all the things I needed to bake and make my other gifts. In a way my mother-in-law bought part of her own gift but I don't think she would mind even if she knew that. See she has it right. She could care less what she gets from anyone she just wants to give. Why didn't it run in the family?! I am not sure if it was jealousy or what but all I got about my baking and making my gifts was grief... was what about me?

Then this morning I found out that only the brothers were going to watch Tron and again I am home alone with the girls and I admit I got a bit upset. Not because Jake is going without me but because I wanted to go. What about me?! I was immediately disgusted with myself for even thinking it. I am so glad that Jake and his brothers get to spend time together and go out to lunch and a movie. I am content with sitting home and baking eggnog cheesecake and macadamia nut cookies. I wouldn't want Jake sitting home all day bored and miserable. I am so grateful that this movie is part of his Christmas gift, and just like I didn't share mine I do not expect him to share his. I just failed to contemplate it long enough to realize I how actually felt. My first inclination was... what about me?!

I am now refocusing my attention. This holiday is about Christ. It is about the love of our Father. This was something I heard a few times as a child and I didn't grasp the meaning. I didn't actually think of it as much of a sacrifice on God's part, giving up his son. My father had given me up a long time ago and he didn't seem too upset about it. I felt abandoned and alone and if God the Father was anything like my father I wanted nothing to do with Him. I was fine on my own and I could handle it. I made it 29 years without a father, why did I need one then? I did though. I needed my heavenly Father to take away all the baggage that I was carrying around. All the pain and resentment, not just toward my father but, my mother, my husband and family.

Then came the understanding that God would never leave me. Everyone else in my life had left me at one point or another and I needed to get that He never would. I couldn't comprehend that no matter what I did, how I acted or how I felt, God wasn't going anywhere! God was here to stay in my shadow or by my side, He was always there. Now I get it! I understand how much God loves me, how much of a sacrifice it was for Him to give His only Son to save ME.

I think this is why I get so riled up whenever someone takes the Christ out of Christmas, when people act so selfishly, when the buy me's and the I want's become more important than the fact that the creator of the universe came down to save us! He didn't think "what about me?" Instead He thought "what about them?" What about the lost souls that will have to spend eternity in hell? What about the people I love so much that just cannot save themselves?

What would our world be like if God had gone with "what about me?" Where would we be? Do you think that if our God wasn't so lovingly concerned for US we would still be here? He wouldn't have to lift a finger to rid the world of the sinful people that fill it. My mother use to tell me "I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it!" Well, God brought us the world and He can take it away! He could have wiped us all out like He did in Noah's day. He could have thrown a temper tantrum and broke the world into a bunch of pieces because things weren't going His way.

I think we all need to appreciate the fact that He didn't. I for one and very grateful to have a Father that loves me that much! A father that doesn't care if I become a doctor or a singer. If I play soccer or dance in a ballet. He loves me for me and that is the ONLY place I will ever receive that kind of unconditional love.

So, Merry Christmas everyone! Don't forget why we say that! Don't forget that we celebrate because of a baby in a manger not because of a present in a tree. We celebrate because God loved! We celebrate because a virgin gave birth to a savior and He saved!

blessed

I have been doing morning devotions with my husband lately. I had no idea how much of a difference it would make. I love how much closer I feel to him after just a short amount of time.

I am home today instead of in class. Girls didn't have school so one of us had to stay home. This mornings devotions were about putting others first. I am trying to serve by doing things I know Jake doesn't like to do.

It feels great to do things for my family and my husband. It also feels great to have an organized house!!

"You do not realize now what I am doing but, later you will understand" - John 13:7

Awareness

I have "legally" been able to call myself an adult for almost 12 years now. I was on my own well honestly from about 13 years old. I was an office manager by the time I was 19 and a real estate agent at 20. I have been a mother and a wife for roughly 9 years and it wasn't until recently that I could say I grew up.



I was sweeping the floor the other day and the fact that I have grown up really struck me. It isn't that I hadn't begun the process of growing up or that I am finished with it. I think we all have some growing up to do and that in some aspects should never stop. I realized it has nothing to do with age or with attitude but with my relationship with God.



I used to think that I was okay with whatever God had planned for me. That was only true however if what He had planned coincided with what I had planned as well. If I didn't agree with where or what God wanted for me I would just tell myself that misinterpreted what He really wanted.



I am at a place in my walk with God right now that I truly am okay with what He has planned for me. I know He has a plan and I know that it doesn't matter what the world throws at me His plan cannot be thwarted. I have lost more than most people have owned. A big house, 14 acres, motorcycle, cars, truck, and so much more. However, I am more at peace at this point in my life than I have ever been before.